Adverse Reaction to Music

Music is suppose to be something that is relaxing that brings nothing but good memories, right?! I was driving down the road the other day on one of my various trips up to northeast Ohio and a song came on the radio that I had not heard in YEARS and as I listened to it, I couldn't handle listening to and had to skip over it on the radio. Then as I continued to drive, I was bothered by the fact that I couldn't listen to the song anymore. A song that I really used to enjoy but now, I just can't do it. Songs then were starting to run through my mind on songs that fell into this bucket of doom.

The first one that came to mind was a Rascal Flatts song. It's on the Me and My Gang album. I LOVED this album. Seriously... when it first came out, I could sing (not well) almost every word. One day while talking to one of my friends at the time, she says to me that there is a song on the album that reminds her of me. (Huh?) It's called, Stand.

Lyrics:
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you’re made of
You might bend ‘til you break
‘Cause it’s all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off

Hmm... I ask her what she means and how this relates to me. She says it reminds her of me because of how long it had taken me up to that point to graduate from Ohio State because I was on the 7-yr plan and taking too long. I'll admit it, I was offended. Did I want to stay in school for 7 yrs and pay for 7 yrs worth of education? No. However, because of some credits not transferring, my working to help finance my education (so my parents wouldn't have full responsibility since they have another kid who will be in school and so I wouldn't have a million years of loans to pay), and my inability to pass math classes, yes - it took me a little longer than anticipated. It happens.

Second song: Lose Yourself - Popular during the movie 8 Mile with Eminem. I love Eminem, I can't help it. I know he's a bad influence and isn't the nicest guy - but I think that we can all say that I turned out okay regardless of the fact that I listened to him on a regular basis. Right?? I will never forget driving down the road with my boyfriend at the time and Lose Yourself came on the radio. I was singing (cough, cough - rapping) along with Eminem when he busts out laughing. (WTF?) He says I was saying all the words wrong and wasn't even close. This resulted into a fight. Then into silence. Then just flat out annoyance. I know I got the words right and still this day - I am convinced he was wrong and I was right. However, it always turns my memory to the fight. Annoying.

Lastly, Alanis Morrisette. So 90s, and yet so amazing! I BEGGED my Mom to let me buy this cd. Her response was the typical "over my dead body" that I typically received. She thought Alanis was depressing. Well, she is... I give her that! Though, I loved her and loved her cd. I never went against my Mom's wishes and never bought it. Though, one trip up to Alaska for a family vacation - my aunt had the cd and let my sister and I listen to it in her car. (Though, I am now wondering if it was on cassette?? Eh, oh well - you get the point!) My sister thought that we were so AWESOME for listening to it in her car, and my Mom not knowing. Sneaky! Fast forward 10 yrs, through some family dynamics which leaves room for a whole new blog (aka: novel), my Aunt isn't the most welcome of family members to my sister and myself. So listening to Alanis wail and depress me, it truly depresses me that life has taken such a turn that I have a hard time even talking about my Aunt. Alanis always makes me think of the fun we had, but also gives me a heavy heart to the outcome of some other instances.
I didn't write this blog for you to feel sorry for me or any reason, and I know that this is truly one of my most depressing blogs and I am sorry for that! I just had some thoughts I wanted to jot down about music and how certainly situations can change a song that you used to LOVE into something that makes you want to drive hot pokers into your ear canal when it comes on the radio.

Are there songs that had a negative impact in your life, or do I need to go see a therapist? :)