Over the past month, I've had two situations occur that have made me scratch my head and wonder why people have said things the way that they did. The first time it happened, I was curious as to why that person had said what they did and it made me think about it for weeks. The second time, I realized that these words more than made me think, they actually hurt my feelings a smidge.
I've recently had people pass judgment on me and my life because I am not in a relationship/married, and because I do not have any children.
*A friend asked me if I had the opportunity to watch a particular movie over a period of a few weeks. I had told him no, I had not watched it yet and immediately I was told "How do you not have any time to watch it? You don't have any family or kid type responsibilities to worry about."
*Last week at work, we had a Cupcake Bake-Off for our department. I was appointed the person to organize it and get everything set up. I had sent out an email to our entire group 3 weeks prior letting them know the details and all that good stuff to participate. The night before I spent (along with my sister and one of my best friends) cooking cupcakes, decorating cupcakes and making everything perfect for the competition. I spent a good amount of money, and a great amount of time in making them to perfection to win a prize for the bake off. I took them to work the next day, and many people who said that they would participate backed out at the last minute. That's fine, I understand that life can be busy and things come up. No big deal! However, someone saw my cupcakes and the only thing that came out of her mouth was, "Wow. We can tell that someone has a lot of time on her hands with no kids or family to worry about."
These two statements truly made me think about not only my current life, but my future as well. I don't know if they think that it is a choice that I have made to not have a significant other in my life, or if I don't want a family - but that couldn't be further from the truth. Honestly, I could potentially have a significant other and children in my current life, but I have chosen not to marry any of my boyfriends who I knew that we were not meant to be life long partners. I am not going to run out and find just anyone to fill a missing void. I want to know in my heart the person that I am going to spend the rest of my life with is that person. Until then, I will continue to be the single girl that I currently am.
However, does being a single girl with no family make me boring? I do not spend my time as a single girl going out to the bars drinking every night. I do not go out with friends every night. I do not spend my time in my bed crying that I am alone. Instead, I spend my time bettering my career and working as hard as I can from the hours of 8:30am - 5:30pm. When I leave work, I either run errands, come home and cook dinner, clean my place, spend time with my family, spend time with friends, go to Weight Watchers, go to the gym, and yes maybe I spend some time sitting on my couch watching my favorite tv shows. The weekends are busy doing housework, grocery shopping, helping my parents remodel their house, volunteering for the Food Pantry of Delaware County, etc.
Does this seem to be the life of a boring person who has all the time in the world on their hands? Additionally, why am I being judged for being single and alone?
I look at all of my friends who are married, with or without children, and I am the FIRST person to congratulate them for their relationships and growing families. I am happy for anyone who is able to create that cute little family and I am honored to watch their families grow. Everyone deserves to be happy, and everyone deserves the best life possible. I just hope that at some point those all around who have those single friends remember that being single isn't always a choice, and many of us want what others have. Until then, I will continue to keep busy with my "boring, single girl life with no responsibilities." Sigh.
In the words of my favorite "single" role model, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City:
“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.” --Carrie Bradshaw
I am APPALLED at what these idiots you know said to you!!!!!!!!!!! Some people are so crazy and just don't get life at all. My best friend was single until she was 30. People actually started rumors in the small town she was from that she was a lesbian. RIDICULOUS! Everyone there got married like right out of high school. I applaud you for not just rushing out and marrying some random guy like so many do. I have a hunch that these people making comments to you may be jealous of your singleness!
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